- did something effing stupid, no turning back
- Made family lose trust in me
- Made family worry
- Gonna lose my gf sooner or later
- Praying hard i wont lose her
- Chances are slim
Guess that kinda sum up what happened recently. Things are really going wayyy off eh? I can only hope i can still continue my internship, and also, continue my studies in sp, thats the biggest concern so far.
I dun wanna waste my 2 years in SP for nothing man, been through shit in SP, seems to me like every few years, I will be going through something that will teach me ways of life, irregardless of what it may be, I err, I learn I understand.
However, I err again, different case though, I learn, I understand but it may be too late for any regrets. I am totally prepared for the worst... But do praying helps? if it does, then i'll pray hard... coincidentally, there was another guy who were with me ytd who were going through the exact same thing, just a lil different in the stuff=)
you guys may not understand what i'm typing but oh wells, I'll post up everything in detail after the 21st. Thats my judgement day, the day to see if i can still be a free man... little did i expect myself to be going through all these man.
Anyway, lets throw all the sad part away. Back to the topic, MY DAILY LIFE, thats what a blog is for right?
ah crap, i still have no mood for it, cuz i just suddenly have the thoughts of me being alone walking home alone, not having the companionship that i always had. Would it be better without the familiar hands so that she wouldnt be tied down cuz of what i've done?
I just felt quite saddened cuz when i was practically at my lowest, i didnt receive any encouragement, i apologised, i knew i was in the wrong, but why did she send that sms instead? it hurts, it is still hurting, it made me think.. why? almost broke down on the bus home last night, but didnt, cuz didnt want THAT many people to see me breaking down.
I'm not structuring my sentences correctly now. Am just bombing whatever i felt like bombing... happy mothers' day mum, i'm so sorry i gave u such a gift, its too hard for me to give it to u, i didnt want to, i had to, cuz i was instructed to... i'm sorry... ps this para dont really make sense, just skip it
how am i to face the others after what have happened, i guess its really the end of my relationship, the normal morning dear! i'm on my way to work now! message wasnt delivered to me
Next, LUBS! i'm having lunch.... wasnt delivered to me
LUBS! i'm waiting for bus... isnt delivered to me either, just a mistake caused me such agony... why? why was i so stupid? why didnt i think through ytd? WHY?!
anw, dun worry, i wun commit suicide or whatever it is, no point for me to do so anw, i still gotta take care of my parents, worst come to worst, i'll endure through it and emerge a better man, just like my bro=)
long long and short post,
incase i dont have a chance to say it anymore, CHUA YIQI, I REALLY LOVE YOU
crap, tears, fuck, dun drop!
damn it dropped
